Dear Mr. President

Dear President Obama,

As a black person, who was born and raised in this country, seeing you elected as President of the United States brought tears to my eyes. There I was, at roughly 12am EST, on the night of November 6, 2008, crying right along with Oprah and Jessie. I have never been as proud to be an American citizen as I was at that moment. I recognize that you will be a little busy solving the economic crisis and trying to rescue our country from the brink of another Great Depression; but if you find yourself with a free moment do you think you could do me three small favors?

  1. Would you kindly pass an executive order promising that the US Census will no longer ask black people to classify themselves as Negroes? Frankly, I find it to be extremely insulting.
  2. Please apologize to the entire world for the last eight years. It would be nice if I didn’t have to be too embarrassed to travel outside the United States.
  3. Declare the day that George W. Bush leaves office a national holiday. I don’t think that I can stress enough what a monumental event that will be. Make sure you burn sage throughout the White House to get rid of all those nasty vibes.

You’ve got a lot of late nights and hard work ahead of you Mr. President. May the force be with you!!!

HarlemHarangue

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