Dear President Obama,
As a black person, who was born and raised in this country, seeing you elected as President of the United States brought tears to my eyes. There I was, at roughly 12am EST, on the night of November 6, 2008, crying right along with Oprah and Jessie. I have never been as proud to be an American citizen as I was at that moment. I recognize that you will be a little busy solving the economic crisis and trying to rescue our country from the brink of another Great Depression; but if you find yourself with a free moment do you think you could do me three small favors?
- Would you kindly pass an executive order promising that the US Census will no longer ask black people to classify themselves as Negroes? Frankly, I find it to be extremely insulting.
- Please apologize to the entire world for the last eight years. It would be nice if I didn’t have to be too embarrassed to travel outside the United States.
- Declare the day that George W. Bush leaves office a national holiday. I don’t think that I can stress enough what a monumental event that will be. Make sure you burn sage throughout the White House to get rid of all those nasty vibes.
You’ve got a lot of late nights and hard work ahead of you Mr. President. May the force be with you!!!